Dear Benebar

Dear Benebar is a new advice column. It might become a regular addition, but Benebar is very hard to depend on, so who knows.

Benebar,
I recently got my hair cut by a new stylist and now it's totally screwed up. I'm very self-conscious about it. How can I go about my normal life without thinking I look silly until it grows normal again?

Less Than Happy With Cost Cutters, Miami, Florida

Dear Less,
One word: distraction. Try wearing pink shoes with pictures of John Madden on them. Maybe a fake tattoo of the John Deere logo on your forearm. Carry some of those little snap firecrackers around to draw peoples' attention to a spot 10 feet away from you. Good luck!

Benebar,
I think my boyfriend totally forgot about Valentines Day. I didn't get anything from him, he never said a word, and he acted very surprised when I gave him a big chocolate heart in the middle of February. Should I say something? Should I lose him? Also, he ate most of my candy conversation hearts without even noticing what they were.

But He's Really Cute and Tall, Omaha, Nebraska

Dear But,
He's a keeper. I'm sure he's just very focused on his job and can't be distracted by silly things. And trust me, all his other girlfriends are just as miffed about this as you are.

Benebar,
I've been considering starting an advice column, either on my MySpace page or my Facebook profile. Or maybe even a Blogspot deal. Do you have any suggestions?

My Friends Say I'm Very Helpful, Vancouver, BC

Dear My,
I admire your ambition, but I think you should leave it to the pros. It's an art form, writing good advice. Plus, it's really hard work and the pay sucks.

Send your advice inquiries to benebar at kingbenny dot net.